Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace
by greenlemons
Summary: Esme and Carlisle's life together begins. One-shot.


**AN: I don't know, I'm really proud of this chapter. I have no idea of the direction this story will go. I could come up with no continuation: I don't know. We'll see. Read and review!!!**

**_Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace_**

_"I can kill a man, dismember his body, and be home in time for Letterman. But knowing what to say when my girlfriend's feeling insecure... I'm totally lost."  
_-_ Dexter_ _Morgan, _Dexter

Chapter 1: So Soft and So Warm

The moment Carlisle saw Esme was the moment he felt his life just begin. It didn't begin when he was born; It didn't begin when he turned eighteen and essentially became a man; And it didn't begin when he turned into a vampire. It began when he was wrapping up a young girls broken leg. He noticed the girl staring at him...she never looked away. He forced himself to concentrate on healing her and not gaze longingly at her.

Although there was a moment when their eyes locked - when he was touching her leg to confirm that it was indeed broken - that he knew this girl was meant for him. But no, she wasn't. She was very much a human and he was very much a vampire.

She was so soft and so warm. He was so strong and so cold.

It could never work out. Not to mention he couldn't bear taking away her humanity. Nevertheless he thought about it. That whole time that they stared at one another he imagined biting into her supple, cream-coloured neck. Oh how her blood would taste. He would pull away in time of course. He knew he would. He _had _to have her in this life with him. If he was going to taste any human blood it would be hers.

But his feelings were thwarted by this one silly moment with a human sixteen-year-old girl. He remembered where he was and who he was.

He snapped his eyes back to her leg and began to fix it.

When he waved her off he saw her distraught expression and couldn't help feeling pleased. She was just as devastated by the prospect of being separated as he was. But he was just being foolish.

Unfortunately he never really got over her.

And then when he saw her that fateful day ten years later, he knew it was meant to be.

She was dying.

He could save her.

He wanted to save her.

Her heartbeat was faint - she didn't have a lot of time left. Carlisle went to her abandoned body and lifted her. No one was around. They had just left her. _He_wouldn't. Carlisle snuck her out of the hospital and back home.

Edward was surprised to say the least.

"Carlisle, what - who is she?" his son had asked, confused.

"I fixed her."

Edward had no idea what he was talking about but didn't question his father any further because the moment Carlisle bit into her neck, Edward had to leave. Carlisle sucked her blood; he was careful to keep his head level through the whole intense event because when the time came he had to use all his self control to pull away from her inviting crook of the neck.

There was silence as the venom seemed to register with her body and then her blood-curdling scream broke it. The moment she made a noise Carlisle was sure _he_ wouldn't be able to handle the pain. Her eyes were closed tightly as she struggled with the fire in her veins.

The next few days were somehow worse than when he waited for Edward to become a vampire.

When she had opened her eyes they focused immediately on Carlisle. They widened in shock and confusion but too soon her look of awe was replaced by one of hunger.

Carlisle was sure the now womanly Esme didn't remember him and his meeting with her was only remembered by a young teenaged Esme.

The disappointment was so great that Carlisle had to pretend that he never met Esme before which was hard to do. He remembered every moment he shared with her.

All the good ones and now all the bad ones...

----

"It's you, isn't it?" Esme pulled herself away from her prey. The corpse of a dead man. She hadn't exactly registered what she had just done. She had been a vampire for fifteen months. She had been around humans before and for the most part she was able to keep in control when near them. But this man had fallen in the woods and was bleeding; they had aimlessly wandered in his path. Once his bloody-scent hit the two of them Carlisle didn't even have time to grab her...she was gone.

Now, she had wondered and debated speaking to the beautiful God-like doctor who she lived with for months - for over a year! He made her incredibly nervous. But after draining her first human victim, for some reason, she felt confident. Also a bit disoriented. Delirious. A little drunk.

Carlisle was saddened by the outcome of their day to say the least. She had just killed a human. He tried to be understanding; but he had such high expectations for Esme. She had reacted weakly to the intoxicating smell the human emanated.

"Is it?" Carlisle murmured, not taking his eyes off of the dead man. How could she? His heart dropped.

"You."

Carlisle finally looked up at Esme who was advancing toward him. He caught his breath as she got closer. She smelled even better now that she was full of human blood. Impossible, but true.

"I don't understand," Carlisle shook his head and glanced back down at the man.

"You're the man who treated me as a girl...I broke my leg," Esme looked embarrassed bringing it up. "You're all I truly remember before..." Before her son died.

"Yes," Carlisle breathed. She remembered. He wondered many times over if she recalled the day they met at the hospital in Ohio. Her young sixteen-year-old face was seared into his memory. He could never forget her.

He had felt such a connection to her, from the moment he locked eyes with her. It had frightened him. She was human after all and he had never experienced such feelings with any being that he could remember. Maybe once when he was human and he was young, but not since he became a vampire. It was staggering. The effect that this young girl had over him in a mere second of their eyes meeting.

She couldn't stop staring at him as well while he treated her leg. But he expected it. Humans were attracted to vampires; it was all part of the hunt. He didn't think anything of it at the time. He never dared to hope that maybe she was attracted to him as well. But what he felt for her was far more stronger than what a sixteen year old girl could feel, truly.

It took all the strength he could muster - and that's saying a lot, considering his self-control when it came to blood lust - to let the girl go. Because he had thought about it: turn her into a vampire. He only thought about it for a second, but the thought was so tempting that he had to be very stern with himself.

And then when he saw her again...broken; emotionally and physically. He couldn't deny a life with her at all. She was dying and he could save her. The woman of his dreams.

And so he did.

But why was she bringing this up now? She had been a part of their little family for over a year now. She was past the newborn stage. He couldn't understand; she killed a human and then felt the need to confess that she remembered him as a girl. Now was not the best time. They had a body to dispose of.

Esme finally looked back at her victim. The poor boy. He was far from actually being called a boy; he was well into his thirties. But she couldn't help remembering her own boy...

"He has a mother," Esme forgot to breathe. "And now he's dead." Esme choked and fell to her knees. Her hands brushing over his body before settling just below his ribs. She did all that she could think of doing; she tried to revive him. The moment she pushed down on the appropriate spot that you were supposed to press, two ribs cracked. Broke. Shattered. Esme gasped.

Carlisle winced. "Esme, please. There's nothing you can do..."

"I killed him," she said slowly, staring wide-eyed and fearfully at the lifeless body. "His mother will be devastated." Esme began to cry. She let in a shaky breath and cried her heart out. "I know how she'll feel! It's horrible! I'm horrible! I killed her son!" Esme threw herself on top of the man's body and gripped his bloody shirt. She clawed at his body, shredding his skin, bruising his dead body, harming him.

"Esme!" Carlisle ran up behind her and began to pull her from the man. Low gutteral noises came from a distraught Esme.

Esme was putting up a good fight as Carlisle tugged her away. He tried to - with all his might - pull her off the man. Finally he got a good grip and yanked her clear off the body. Carlisle fell back onto the forest floor with Esme still in his arms. He locked his hands together creating a sort of bind for her. Esme was frantic as she tried to break free. But she couldn't.

"How could I?" she howled. Carlisle pulled her closer to his body.

"Shh, please, Esme." Carlisle truly hated her pain. It almost felt like he was feeling every jab in the gut that she was experiencing. But that couldn't be possible.

After nine-hundred and seventy-one shaky breaths, Esme finally pulled herself off of Carlisle. She kept her head down and made sure her hair was hiding her face from Carlisle's sight. He hated not seeing her face so he tucked her hair behind her ear. She looked up slowly but didn't meet his eye.

"We have to return him."

Carlisle pulled himself up so that he was leaning on his elbows. "What?" Esme was kneeling in between his legs.

"We have to give him back to his mother. S-so, she can bury him," she muttered. There was silence as Carlisle thought over what she had just said. "Please," she looked up and stared desperately into his eyes.

Carlisle tried to think of a way that they could return the body without any form of evidence that led to them. He couldn't.

He cupped her face in between his hands. "If we do this, Esme. We'll have to leave Ohio right away," Carlisle said seriously.

She nodded slowly. "After we go to his funeral."

Carlisle had to do a double-take. Funeral? "Esme..."

"Please, I need to do this."

Carlisle had trouble refusing her. He knew he had to but he couldn't. So he merely nodded and Esme went to the body and lifted it in her arms. She began to walk through the forest.

"Where are you going?" he asked warily.

"Back home."

"Wait, Esme." She stopped to turn and wait for his answer. Carlisle's thoughts finally caught up with him. "You can't go to the funeral," Carlisle reminded her. "There might be too many people..." Esme stiffened while holding the limp body, she stared straight at him.

"I'd like to try."

"Esme, I'd rather not. It could end disastrously."

"You mean...if I kill more people?" Esme shut her eyes.

"Yes."

Esme bit her lower lip and watched Carlisle. She knew he was only trying to protect her. All he was being was realistic; something he had to do to keep their family below the radar.

"Let's take him back to Edward," Esme said finally. Carlisle frowned but followed her back home.

Edward was sitting on the front porch with his head in his hands. Carlisle had to be reminded that as Esme had only been a vampire for one year, Edward wasn't exactly a veteran at four years experience. They were both so young. Carilsle shook his head for he never imagined his life would be like this: the head of a family of new vampires. He saw himself alone for so many years that right now this life he lead seemed surreal.

"Edward," Esme whispered. Edward didn't look up. He continued to stare at his shoes.

"It's your first time," Edward muttered. "I'm sorry."

Carlisle looked at his son and felt a great wave of sadness. He turned to Esme and touched the man's forehead. Esme looked at Carlisle, questioning his decision.

"Let's return the body to his mother," he said. Esme let out a small sob and eased the body into Carlisle's open arms. As Carlisle moved to take the man close to town Esme stopped him.

"Carlisle, I'm going to his funeral," she said firmly despite her devastated features.

He only nodded. Carlisle was too stunned to say any words because in that moment he _knew_ he loved her. That compassion was admirable. That level of love was astounding. That beauty was breathtaking.

He was overwhelmed with the reality of his situation as he turned to run back toward town. He was in love with the girl he fixed ten years ago. Why couldn't he ever forget her? Was this meant to be? It sure seemed that way. It must be God's reward after such good behaviour. Carlisle had to believe that was true.

He left the man's body close enough to town that it would be found soon. He darted back home to comfort Esme in any way she needed. When he returned home Edward was playing the piano softly in the other room; the notes he hit were ones of great sorrow. Carlisle thought it probably wasn't the best time to play Esme's emotions like he was with his sad music but he kept quiet as he continued up the stairs. He knocked softly on Esme's bedroom door. He heard her move throughout her room rather quickly.

"Come in," she called.

When he walked in he saw a large array of black clothing assembled on her bed. He looked at it, perplexed.

"Esme, what is this?"

"I can't decide what to wear..." she tittered, her arms were crossed as she stared critically at her clothing.

"I'm sure whatever you choose will be...fine," Carlisle was going to comment on her beauty but he held his tongue. Now wasn't the best time to mention how he felt about her. She could care less about that after the day she'd had.

"But it won't be fine. None of this will ever be fine," Esme stressed. "You don't understand."

Carlisle inhaled sharply and turned his head away.

"I didn't mean it like that..." Esme back-tracked.

Carlisle smirked humorlessly. "You don't have to explain yourself Esme."

"I mean...I appreciate everything you've done for me Carlisle..."

"Everything?" Carlisle said doubtfully. He wondered often if she resented him for what he had done to her.

But when she hesitated he knew the truth. She bit her lower lip and shrugged. "I don't know," she shook her head and returned her attention back to her clothes. "I just really need to choose the right outfit..." Her voice broke at the end. She was still very distraught.

Carlisle nodded regretfully and left the room faster than Esme thought possible.

"Wait," she said so quietly that Carlisle didn't hear. She didn't speak up again but pulled out a long solemn-looking dress that seemed suitable for the...occasion.

It was two days later when a group of boys stumbled across the body just two miles outside of town. They were stumbling around drunk (one of the boys stole alcohol from under the nose of his drunk father's slumber) when one of them tripped over a leg. They screamed their way back into town where they informed the citizens that a dead man was in the forest.

Three days after that, a funeral was held.

Esme stood further at the very back of the crowd that surrounded the casket in the middle of the cemetery. Carlisle and Edward stood by her side dutifully. Edward shot darted looks at the different graves reading their death-dates. Carlisle watched Esme and his son carefully, knowing how this must be for them. Esme reached down and gripped Carlisle and Edward's hand tightly in each of her own. Edward glanced at Carlisle.

_She's really taking this badly, _Carlisle said internally.

Edward nodded slightly so only Carlisle could notice.

_...I hate it._

Edward frowned and glanced down at Esme who was holding her own with much difficulty. Esme's dedicated stare never left the grieving mother. She was hunched over herself in a numb state, unable to bring out a coherent word. She finally looked up at the sky while the priest spoke of a heaven. She began to rock back and forth staring at the grey cloudy sky. Tears rolled down her cheeks, making the scene all the more hard to watch.

When the priest finished his words everyone watched as the casket was slowly lowered into the ground by four large men. A few members of the crowd grabbed a handful of dirt and let it go onto the coffin in the ground. The crowd eventually dispersed.

Esme refused to move.

There was no one left in the cemetery and they stood there for hours. Night began to settle among the graves. But they stood completely still, unmoving.

"Esme," Edward finally said. He pulled his hand out of her death-grip and kissed her on the cheek before turning and leaving her with Carlisle.

Carlisle watched his son lurk into the shadows and past the different headstones. He turned his attention back to the upset woman - the woman he loved. He didn't know how he could make her feel any better. In the most human way possible, he reached over with his free hand and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. She looked up at him; her eyes threatened tears but they never came.

She didn't sob though. She returned his stare as their connection locked into place. Carlisle was immediately transported to the day they first met and how their moment of watching one another lasted so long. Esme wasn't so different from the girl he once knew. She was still confused, lost, shy, loving, nervous, hurt, beautiful, hesitant...just like her sixteen year old self. He wondered how she could hold on to all those feelings for so long and not let them go?

"I don't like to see you in pain," Carlisle said truthfully.

"I don't like seeing you in pain, either." Esme smiled weakly.

"Have you seen me in pain?" Carlisle wondered.

"You're in pain _now _because I'm in pain," she answered simply. It was true, Carlisle couldn't deny that. Her pain at the funeral was tearing him up inside. He could only relate it to...dying.

As they stood there in the graveyard never breaking their stare, they both reflected on the moments they shared with one another and slowly, cautiously they moved in and their lips met.

_That _was when Carlisle's real life began.

**R/R!**


End file.
